


Drown

by Terinka



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Day 4, Injury, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, M/M, RinHaru Week 2018, blue prompt-reality, don't yell at me I have no idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 13:44:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17081387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terinka/pseuds/Terinka
Summary: When Haru's dreams end abruptly, it's hard to face the reality.





	Drown

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my second entry for the RinHaru Week and hopefully the last angsty one. I have no idea why my brain came up with this, and I have no excuse.   
> With blue 'reality' and red 'dreams', this sorta popped up in my head.   
> One of these days I'll write something longer with some actual planning done before, but not today ;) 
> 
> Unbetaed, feel free to point out anything odd! <3

Rin gently kicked the door of their house closed. Normally he'd be more careful but right now his hands were occupied, the heavy bags full of food. He spent more time than he originally planned in the shops, leaving the house and his loved one alone for longer than he wanted. It was getting dark quite fast, the autumn slowly starting.  

 

“Haru! I'm home! You wouldn't believe what happened. I ran into this old family friend and he took me to a tiny fish market I didn't even know was there, and the mackerel they had was so beautiful and fresh I bought..” Rin's voice got quieter slowly, noticing the lack of usual response that came whenever the word ‘mackerel’ was used. 

 

“Haru? Where are you?” 

 

Nervosity growing, Rin dropped the bags on the floor and not even taking off his shoes, he started searching the house, looking for his boyfriend. The kitchen was empty, but since most of the ingredients were in the shopping bags Rin had brought Haru probably wouldn't bother to go there. 

 

After quickly scanning the living room and not finding anyone, Rin headed to the bedroom that was Haru's safeplace for most of these days since he was released from the hospital. The bed was unmade, various cushions and blankets laying on the bed, and two even made it all the way to the floor - yet the person usually occupying it wasn’t there.

 

Rin frowned and tried to not pay much attention to the wave of anxiousness building in his chest, his heart beating wildly.  _ Where the fuck did Haru go?  _ He exhaled slowly and decided to check the bathroom. Once a sanctuary to his boyfriend, Rin was pretty sure Haru didn’t spend much more time there than was necessary for brushing his teeth and a quick rinse, usually aided by Rin himself. 

 

He didn’t even need to go inside to see it was as empty as the rest of the house - the door was open wide and the lights were off. 

 

_ Okay, Matsuoka, breathe. You can’t start panicking now. Haru’s missing and it’s not exactly like he could’ve gotten far from this place..or out in general. I shouldn’t have left him alone here. He’s been so sad lately and isolating himself.. Where could he… _

 

Rin’s frantic thoughts were interrupted by a loud  _ splash _ coming from the opposite side of the house.  _ Of fucking course,  _ he cursed internally, his mind spinning, as he started running back to the living room. Rin now quickly noticed what he had managed to overlook before; the glass box on the wall where they were keeping their medals was open, some of them missing, and the door to the garden was ajar. 

 

“Haru!”  _ No no no fucking no, he couldn’t have… _

 

Rin ran across the room, slamming the door wide open, and quickly scanned the garden outside, only to spot what he was the most afraid of; next to their swimming pool, the wheelchair was empty. 

“No -” Rin leaped to the pool, the cool, clear blue water gently lapping over the edges. His eyes were searching for anything -  _ or anyone, no, shut up, Rin, he wouldn’t  _ \- under the water, his hands gripping his jacket, ready to pull it off and dive in, when a voice stopped him. 

 

“Rin.” 

 

The redhead whipped his head up and finally noticed a dark figure sitting on the tiles, one leg dangling in the water. 

 

“Haru…” He stood up and made a step towards his boyfriend, but stopped once he saw what exactly was going on. There were a couple of medals of different sizes and materials next to Haru’s thigh, and some more at the bottom of the pool. Something that looked like professional jammers with sakura motif was pooling in Haru’s lap, shredded into pieces. Rin lifted his eyes in time to see the wet tracks on Haru’s cheeks, a single tear threatening to fall off his jaw. 

 

“Haru..” Rin repeated himself and his eyes were suddenly tearing up, “it’s gonna be -” 

 

“No, Rin. Don’t you dare finishing that sentence.” Haru’s voice was cold and full of pain. “Even a hopeful idiot like you should understand it. After all, you heard the doctors. It’s never gonna be like before. I’m never gonna swim again. All our dreams...” Haru inhaled sharply, the breath marred by silent sobs, and took one of the smaller silver medals next to him into his hand. Rin recognized it immediately: All-Japan Invitational, 100 free, all those years ago. 

 

“I’ll never be able to swim professionally again.”  _ Plop.  _ The silver glistened as it was sinking quickly to the bottom of the pool.

 

“I won’t win any more races anymore.”  _ Plop. _ A gold medal in 200 free, Oslo, last year. 

 

“I’ll never participate in a relay again.”  _ Plop.  _ A bronze one, 4x100 free relay, Singapore, three years ago. 

 

“I - “ Haruka sobbed, voice strained, “You’ll never show me a new sight.”  _ Plop.  _ Another silver medal, this time with five rings on it - 100 free, Tokyo. 

 

“We’ll never swim together again.”  _ Plop. _ The gold medal from their 4x100 medley relay from the Tokyo Olympic Games was sinking, taking Rin’s heart with it. 

 

The moment Haru started crying Rin was there, hugging him tightly and murmuring soft words into his back hair, gently rocking them for a long moment. Once Haru calmed down -  _ or wasn’t able to cry anymore, I can’t say which _ \- Rin sat down and pulled him gently into his arms. He cupped Haru’s cheek, his fingers caressing the trails the tears left there, and left a soft kiss on his forehead. 

 

“I’m still gonna say it,” Rin whispered quietly, his lips still touching Haru’s skin. “It’s going to be alright. You’re gonna be fine. Maybe not as fast as before but, Haru,” Rin lifted Haru’s face, looking directly into those deep eyes he loved so dearly, and smiled a little: “if you think for even a second that we’re never gonna swim together again just because of your injury, you’re the idiot here. I’ll never stop wanting to be with in you. I’ll never stop swimming with you, even if it would be just here, or in the ocean, fuck, I’m alright even with soaking in the bathtub. I don’t care about  _ where _ or  _ how fast _ , I care about  _ who. _ I’ll never stop swimming with you, Haruka, and I’ll never stop showing you a sight you’ve never seen before.” 

 

Rin gripped Haru’s hand and kissed the palm. “Care to tell me what you’ve been up to here? The swimsuit and everything? You know the doctor - “ 

 

Haru sniffled but rolled his eyes in fake annoyance. “Yes, Rin, I know the doctor said I can’t go swimming until the bone and muscles heal, and the stitches are taken out. But I kept my leg out of the water…” He shrugged. “I just wanted to feel the water, and I tried to put on my jammers but they got torn a little as I was pulling them on in the wheelchair and I just got..desperate. Angry. Wanting to… I don’t know.” 

 

Rin pulled Haru even closer into his arms, peppering the crown of his head with small kisses. “So you went inside and decided to drown your medals. Or was that you preparing a practice for me? Shall I fish them all out in one breath?” His voice laced with warmth, Rin teased Haru mercilessly. 

 

“That’s not a bad idea, Rin. Consider it your training. You can do that later, though. Now help me back inside, I’m freezing and the cast is getting wet,” Haru demanded, shivering. 

 

Rin didn’t need much more to jump to his feet and scoop his boyfriend into his arms bridal-style, careful not to move the heavy cast enveloping Haru’s right leg, metal wires sticking out of it. Long, fast-paced steps quickly took them both inside, the wheelchair forgotten. 

 

\---

 

After a long, hot shower and a nice grilled mackerel fillets for dinner, the only thing Rin wanted to do for the rest of the day was to flop on the bed and make sure Haru stays tucked in, fed and warm - and not wandering anywhere. He could feel himself falling asleep, one hand linked to Haru’s, when he heard the other man speaking. 

 

“This reality...is hard. My career, us swimming on the top of the world...all those dreams I lost in that moment,” Haru admitted quietly. “And I didn’t know what I would do if I started to hold you back, Rin, and it made me sick..but now I’m sure.” 

 

A featherlike kiss on Rin’s lips; Haru’s voice got incredibly soft: “You’re my dream that I’m never going to give up, Rin. I love you, too.” 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to yell at me. I do love Haru, I have no idea why he has to suffer so much.   
> Also sorry about the vague description of the injury, it's up to you to imagine what happened..
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome!   
> <3


End file.
